


AfterMath

by xLeePricklesx



Category: Ballum, EE - Fandom, EastEnders, benway - Fandom
Genre: Angst, BBC, EastEnders - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, Phils death spoiler, Soap, bbc iplayer, bbc one - Freeform, ben x callum, callum x ben, ee, soaps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 04:31:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19986151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xLeePricklesx/pseuds/xLeePricklesx
Summary: Based on the spoilers of Jay finding Ben 'at his worst'.





	AfterMath

The news was as quick as wind. By the end of the day, not a single soul didnt know about the tragedy. It wasnt much of a tragedy for them though, more of a shocker. Not in a million years would anyone have been able to predict it- especially it being a murder. By the time everyone knew, most people got their alibis in check. Sharons alibi was with Linda, having a girls night out. Keanus was being with Louise, as well as Louise's being with Keanu. Jay went out with Lola for the night. Billy was managing the pub. The slaters were having a dinner in. Who else could you list off? The people of the square thought stories that were quick and snappy, avoiding any suspicion. 

Jay had a busy month ahead of him, he could imagine it. Having to have the funeral of a family member and having other clients as well, Jay would rather down a couple of drinks and get drunk for the days. But Jay was smarter than that and more mature, knowing only one person was able to get drunk the entire day and not get ripped off the way he should. Jay thought for a second, that specific 'person' hadnt shown their faces in about forever. Jay looked around and saw Callum working away at notes. Jay stumbled round and stared at him before clearing his throat. ''Whats that your up too?'' He asked calmly, noticing how Callums shoulders tensed. Callum chuckled nervously before responding. ''Wedding vows...'' He muttered, and if Jay wasnt mistaken, the boy sounded that saying the two words was a heartache. ''Bet your excited for the wedding then, eh?'' Jay stated. Callum looked back at the piece of paper and nodded. ''Something like that, yeah!'' He said, biting his tongue. ''Well, if i can give you any advice on that!'' Jay begun, pointing at the sheet Callum held in his sweaty palms. ''Dont think to hard on it, close your eyes and just think! How much you love her, why you love her. Let all your thoughts and feelings just Spurl on the paper. And who cares if it sounds cheesy, at least your being honest, mate! Just dont think to much on it, and feel instead!'' Jay squeezed Callums shoulder before walking back into the table area, out of the office. Callum nodded slightly and smiled. ''T-Thanks!'' Callum stuttered. Jay smiled and looked away. ''Anytime, mate!'' But before Jay could turn around and talk anymore, their was a harsh knock on the door. Jay raised an eyebrow and went over, feeling Callums eyes follow him as well. He picked the door knob and open it. ''Sorry, Love, we're closed today! Back open tomorrow though, if you p- Ben!'' Jay gasped, little taken aback at his step brother standing at the door. Although Callum couldnt see anything that was happening, the word 'Ben' was enough for his eyes to come shooting up with what he can only describe as hope or irritation. But the thoughts soon died down soon as he saw the younger man, as he saw a figure next to Jay stumble around. Ben fell into a chair, flopping onto it. Callum noticed the way Bens hand were shaking viciously and how he had his hood up tightly over his face. 

''Jesus Ben, what you've gone an done?'' Jay raised his voice, taking note of how his step brother flinched at the sudden volume. ''N-Nothing...'' Ben croaked. He looked much more worse than last week. His skin looked white as clouds, having his veins pop out like wires on the floor. His eyes had dark brooding bags underneath them, his eyes red and puffy as if he spent a decade crying. His lips were dry and looked almost swollen. His eyes held non of his blue highlights that would shine Callums life through with colour. Instead, they seemed soppy blue and looked black. Jay was about to say something before Ben continued. ''S-So hows everything uh... Been?'' Ben coughed, trying to start another conversation. Jay tutted before crossing his arms and leaning on a chair. ''I should be asking you that question, havent I?'' Ben slowly lowered his head before crossing his arms. ''Where 'ave you been? After the... Thing... I havent seen you around!'' Jay asked, feeling nervous when he got to describing the tragedy. ''That thing was my dads murder, Jay. It wasnt just a thing.'' Ben scowled, hissing through his gritted teeth. ''Yeah... Sorry...'' Jay apologised, obviously taking the blame on his fault. ''A-And I was just going around i guess...'' Ben huffed out, biting back the full truth. Ben felt even more tense then before. Callums eyes were darting across him, scanning for any motion he made. Jay questioning him and looking at him with concern. Ben felt he was better off being drunk and passed out in the carlot. It would be so much more easier. ''Look mate, how 'bout you stay 'ere and i go get you some breakfast at the cafe and you can eat it 'ere?'' Jay offered, raising his eyebrow. Ben was hesitate, staying alone with Callum wouldnt be such a great idea. The youngest male couldnt help but shoot his eyes at Callum and seeing how he was already looking over. He heard a small sigh and Callum lowering his head quickly, pretending he wasnt looking in the first place. ''Please Ben...'' Jay finally said, placing a hand on Bens shoulder. ''F-Fine...'' Ben agreed, although his voice was shaking and was full of nervousness. And in a couple of seconds, the sound of the door banging shut rang and the silence awoke. 

Ben had no hope in talking to the other in the room. So, he placed his head on the table and his hands over his face, to block out any light. He spent like this for about 2 minutes before he felt a warm touch on his back. He flinched until he felt the arms hug him from behind. And although, he was scared of the person behind him, he slowly snuggled into the arms around his shoulders and leaned into the touch. When Ben looked up, it was of course Callum, who was smiling softly at him with eyes that made Ben calm down. The arms around his shoulders never stopped warming Ben up,and it wasnt long till Callum sat down next to Ben with a sheet of paper in his hands. Ben studied his reaction and saw how nervous he looked. ''Uh, c-can you read this?'' Callum asked sheepishly, handing the sheet into Bens tender hands. The shorters eyebrows rose and he looked up at the taller. ''W-Why do you think i want to read your wedding vows?'' Ben exhaled, feeling a sharp jealous spike stab into him. Callum shook his head and pushed the paper further into Bens chest. ''Its not my wedding vows, i-its about you...'' Ben eyes widen slightly, looking at the neatly wrote paper infront of him. He didnt want to read this and have his heart be broken over again. He was sure this time, it'll be the death of him. But what was a risk for? So he begun at the start.

''When i first met you, it felt as if i was under a curse. I didnt understand at all, but when you smiled at me and introduced yourself, i felt almost completed in reasons i didnt understand. The touch of ours hands shaking was enough to keep me up at night and thinking. Then with your little scheme of the van, i felt nothing but anger. But i wasnt angry at you, or myself or at anyone. I was more angry about the fact that i couldnt hate you or dislike you in anyway for it. If anything, it only wormed me more in. Soon as i saw those blue ocean like eyes, you were sowed into my life whether liked or hated. I wish i was more brave, more strong. Then i'd be able to break free of this sick role i've been playing and live a life with you. A paradise with you, and cheesy i know but anything with the mention of you in, is a miracle in my heart. I dont show it, i know i dont. If anything, i'd want to kiss you on those rosey lips every single day and prove to the world your mine. Because every night when i close my eyes, you are my last thought. Every time i wake up in the morning, you are my first thought. Everything in my heart and thoughts scream you. And yeah you can be a dick some times but i couldnt lie and say it doesnt make me love you anymore...'' 

Callum was pacing back and forth with his eyes around Bens face. Bens hand came over to his own face and rubbed his eyes. He dropped the sheet of paper and took a large breathe. ''Did you really mean those things, Callum? Like honestly...'' Ben asked desperately, watching as Callum stared into him. ''Of course I did.... I-Im sorry if that was to much..'' Callum apologised, breaking the eye contact. ''No... It wasnt too much, if anything it was just what i think I-i needed i guess!'' Ben chuckled, sorrowfully biting his tongue. ''Callum... I havent been anything but good the past weeks, hardly even okay... Callum, i want whats best for you so much! I-I already said this so many times but... The best thing is to be h-honest to Whitney and go find a guy who can treat you right.. Treat you fucking fantastically!'' Ben hissed at himself, biting his tongue harshly as he placed a hand on his eye and looked the opposite direction so Callum couldnt see the tear stinging his face. ''I-I dont want any other guy though, Ben!'' Callum insisted, looking across and spotting a tear. The taller stood up and touched the cheek where Ben was crying. The other nudged him off and looked away, still having his hand covering his left eye. Callum took ahold of his cheek gently again, slowly forcing him to face him. Bens eyes did, and seemed frightened at the eye contact being forced on the two. Callum gulped before pressing his lips on Bens forehead and wiping his tears. Ben felt as if could swallow his own tongue. Ben stood up and watched as Callum straightened his back. The taller opened his arms out as Ben quickly forced himself into a tight hug. Callum flinched at the sudden contact and sobbing in his chest, but soon pulled his arms around the younger, whispering in his ears. ''Its okay.'' or ''Your fine.'' or some being ''im here.'' Bens sobbing never did stop, and it broke Callum in two. But it wasnt long till the sounds of the crying slowed down, his shoulders tended and Callum could feel Ben slowly lean down on Callum as if he wasnt standing. Callum shook Ben a little, breaking away but still having his hands around Ben. The younger head flopped down and rested on Callums chest. The undertaker smirked a little before slowly lifting the other slightly off the floor, and watching as the mans head slowly rested in the crook of his neck. Ben eyes were softly shut and Callum could hear little breathes coming from him. And like that, his colour came back, his lips became rosey again and he looked way different. Not fully recovered, but atleast something better. Callum watched the sleeping male, wondering when Ben recently got a good sleep. The door swung open and Jay came strolling in. ''He'd fall asleep on ya?'' Jay complained, holding a cup of tea and a takeaway breakfast from kathy's. Callum bit back his sudden nerves before nodding. ''Yeah he did... I'll take 'em up to the flat to rest...'' Jay nodded and smiled. ''Cheers!'' Callum smiled back too, calmly before responding. ''No problem at all...'' Before heading upstairs. And when he left the room, he whispered into Bens ears. ''Your going to be okay, soon... I promise...''


End file.
